You are an asshole!!

And so am I… In fact, all of us are assholes! Yup, I mean it.

Now, before you start hurling aggressive comments towards me and pray that I rot in hell… hold your guns!! Let me try and explain what am I saying…ok?

It so happened, that I met a job seeker couple of weeks back who felt recruiters are the lowest form of life on this face of the earth. They are a bunch of heartless dummies who are interested only in their commission. They don’t respond and they don’t feel the need to inform you about your rejection. They have no idea how it feels to get rejected, they are assholes.

Understanding his frustration, I tried to reason with him for almost 30 minutes only to reach a conclusion that he felt even I am an asshole. (I mean, he didn’t say that out loud but I think I figured it out) He thought I was being defensive about how recruiters behave by justifying their actions. I didn’t support him and that was not what he was expecting or anticipating. I asked him some heavy hitting questions bringing his focus back on certain responsibilities, traits and behaviour of a successful job seeker. He knew he was falling short on every count. Instead of asking how he could improve, we finished the meeting on the note that everyone around him is an asshole.

This experience has left me wondering, why are job seekers taking this whole game so seriously and personally. No, I am not saying that I don’t acknowledge the hard work, time and the emotional investment that goes into finding a job. I know, as a job seeker how you feel when you almost surrender yourself in front of the recruiter only to get rejected.

You feel betrayed, cheated, dejected and heartbroken.

I mean, come on guys; don’t you feel you are going a bit overboard feeling like this. By carrying these heavy emotions on your shoulders your job seeking journey isn’t going to be any easy forget enjoyable. It’s important you relax and focus your energy where it’s required.

Stop being so angry, confused, frustrated, dejected, sad, anxious, lost. (In fact, as a migrant job seeker, I have been through those feelings myself) but why go overboard? Things, whatever they are, good or bad, just take it in your stride and move on. No one has any personal vendetta against you. Learn to relax, smile and improve. There’s no reason why you should be angry at someone.

If you come to think of it, (keep a hand on your heart) even you are an asshole for someone!! Yeah, I am telling you; no matter, how intelligent, smart and capable you are, there is someone out there who considers you an asshole. Remember that…. always!! You too are an idiot in someone’s eyes.

It’s like driving on a single lane motorway; the one driving slower than you is always an idiot, and the one going faster than you is a maniac. And the rule applies to everyone including you. Now guys, even for the sake of our argument, if we were to accept recruiters (most of them) are assholes but then, so are you…aren’t you?

From Jesus Christ to Donald Trump; no one has been spared, then who are you and me?

The argument is not to insult or compare anyone here, come on guys… it’s just an application that didn’t work for you. Learn from it and move on. Get your mind in the right space if you want to play this game right.

Few more points that I’ve observed in job seekers that are hampering their confidence:

English not the first language: So, what…. Yes, so what?? Do you know all of us migrants can speak 2 to 5 different languages including English? And most the recruiters and employers you’re talking to can speak only one language. So, who’s better? Yes, we might not have the local accent but what I fail to understand is, why is your confidence shaken because of that? Just learn some 'Kiwi' mannerisms and polish your basic etiquettes and you are good to go. 

Let me tell you a secret! Indian Weekender, the local Indian Newspaper in English has rejected to print one of my articles. Here it is; They say, I am opinionated and my writing style doesn’t qualify as a newspaper article.

What should I do now…stop writing? (“Aha”… I can see some smart asses going…. “so that’s what this rant is all about…eh?”) No, it’s not about what Indian Weekender thinks about me, it’s about how you should conduct yourself as a job seeker amidst all the odds and come out as a winner. It’s about YOU believe in YOURSELF.

Believing someone else has the power to make you happy/sad/worthy/alive: Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad. I am surprised to see the devastation on the faces of job seekers after they are rejected for a role. A recruiter who didn’t even speak to you properly or didn’t even have the courtesy to return your calls has the capability to ruin your attitude?…Wow!!

Feeling sorry for yourself (victimised): If you think by playing the victim card you will win allies, think again!! Stop feeling sorry for yourself please, it’s not only irritating, it shows how weak you are.

Being a doormat: Stop letting people walk over you and remember, it’s not selfish to say ‘NO’. Have a backbone, take a stand, believe in yourself, know WHY are you doing what you are doing, let your passion be visible, make and execute your plans. Learn and grow.

Bear in mind, I am not asking you or teaching you to be rude or disrespectful towards anyone but hey, you have all the rights to respect yourself. In fact, how do you expect others to respect you if you don’t even respect yourself? Respecting yourself has nothing to do with arrogance, it has nothing to do with being selfish. Jesus has already taught us, to respect and love others. Follow that with utmost humility and a sense of gratitude.

However, I am sure you will agree with a wise man who once said, “Behind every great man, there is his ass.”


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